Morality Play Gifts

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

Ethics exam cheater.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Why do they do that?"

"Call me?"

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

Nun Binning the Devil

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

A happy poor man is given money by a rich man and is no longer happy.

New For Halloween! Sexy C.P.A.

Crocodile Costume

"I love it, the chief loves it, the client loves it, but the gods don't love it."

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

Mass Confucian

Bothers my conscience a little bit/May keep me up for a night or two/Am I really stooping this low?

The tortoise and hare

"Ahem."

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal