Morality Gifts

Ethics exam cheater.

Bob finds God's wallet, and for one crazy moment, considers keeping it.

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

Good V Evil.

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'Do you have any preexisting conditions, like sloth, gluttony, pride, lust...'

'...46 and still have Principles...'

"How many bad habits do you have to have to equal once vice?"

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

GOLDEN RULE: 'High moral fiber cereal,'

Devil vs Angel Duel.

A happy poor man is given money by a rich man and is no longer happy.

"Remember, theres a right way to do things and there's your father's way."

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'Call me old-fashioned but I think the whole angry, bitter divorce thing should be between a man and a woman.'

Old Woman Tells Off Young Boy For Ignoring Religious Teachings And Stealing.

Remember when a sin was a sin and not a psychological disorder?

He' not a quitter - I

"I only knew about the moral code."

Clancy: Exception to the rule

Do what you can and hope a higher power will do what you can't.

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"Quit whimpering."

"It's a new tally board I've been using. For every random act of kindness I perform, I allow myself three really spiteful acts of nastiness!"

Bothers my conscience a little bit/May keep me up for a night or two/Am I really stooping this low?

Genetically modified conscience.

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"Eat my dust!"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"