Morality Musings Gifts

'Of course I know the difference between right and wrong! Wrong pays better!'

"Billy's cheating, Susan is lying, Dave, no, that's Gary, no, Bob. Bob's stealing?"

But I think we can agree on the dandruff issue.

'Assuming moral absolutes - good dog.'

"Look kid, you can't blame everything you do on me."

Ethics exam cheater.

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

Nun Binning the Devil

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

A happy poor man is given money by a rich man and is no longer happy.

Mental baggage, a brain with a handle for easy carrying.

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

'Making virtue its own reward isn't EITHER a cop-out!'

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

Bothers my conscience a little bit/May keep me up for a night or two/Am I really stooping this low?

Trump Bible photo op

The ethics professor weeding his garden.

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

'Is there anyway that I could specialize in corporate law and still be one of the good guys.'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

The tortoise and the hare - Aesop's fables.

"We share values, … which is why neither of us has a full set."

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

Aesop's Fables - The Lion and the Mouse

'Do you have any preexisting conditions, like sloth, gluttony, pride, lust...'

Devil vs Angel Duel.

Face Trophies

'I still have trouble telling right from wrong but my lawyers are trying to help me approximate it.'

"Let me quote a few home truths to you."

"It's a new tally board I've been using. For every random act of kindness I perform, I allow myself three really spiteful acts of nastiness!"