Moralist Musings Gifts

'It's a great invention, but what if it falls into the wrong hands?'

Good Intentions.

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Ethics exam cheater.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"Eat my dust!"

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

Slavery Reparations

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

Caption Contest TK

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

Bleh! What's up, little man? I can't figure out how to start my essay on integrity and honesty. Oh yeah. I once wrote one of those. Excellent. Can I use yours? Honestly?

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

Recruitment of excutives at 'Wynem, Dynem & Dunkem, Inc.'.

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'Idealist'

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

Ethics ethics.