Modern Moralist Gifts

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

'Did you include the receipts for easy return?'

'And so, Samson lost his strength after he stopped using steroids.'

'Norman really cherishes his ideals.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Ethics exam cheater.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"Eat my dust!"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Slavery Reparations

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Caption Contest TK

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Recruitment of excutives at 'Wynem, Dynem & Dunkem, Inc.'.

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"