Moral Thinker Gifts

'Sorry, but we already know who we're going to hire for our new ethics director. We just posted the job for show.'

Good V Evil.

"Sure I know right from wrong. Right is what Mom tell's us to do."

"Ignore me."

"The trouble with you is you don't know the difference between right and wrong."

Moral High Rise.

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

Speak, Hear and See No Evil

'Your Honor, we ding the defendant guilty. But in a broader sense, aren't we all guilty?'

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

'The Lord helps those who help themselves, so bugger off!'

God and Mammon

Human right/left.

Some think teaching someone to be good takes less effort than practicing it.

Crisis of values

Chains of life

'In my experience, for good to triumph over evil, it needs a little help from the NEUTRAL.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Ethics exam cheater.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"Call me?"

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Eat my dust!"

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

Slavery Reparations

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

Caption Contest TK

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.