Monstrous Musings Gifts

"I don't know-somehow the city seems much scarier than when I was a kid."

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

"These brisk fall afternoons remind me of Chekhov, which reminds me of Putin, then Trump, the alt-right, facism, nuclear weapons ... let's go home."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

'I hate my life.

'You'll like this book. It's all about imaginary people.'

Mental baggage, a brain with a handle for easy carrying.

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

Greek goddess

'Do you ever wish the Big Bang would have been just a little bigger?'

Big Medium

"Eve, do you realize that neither you nor I ever had a childhood?"

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

'I'd like to enlighten you, but what if you're just illusory?'

'Never, NEVER sneeze while you're levitating.'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Walkies with the Stars

"Were you even listening to me? I don't have a mother to blame anything on!"

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

'The recurring poor enrollment prognostications plays havoc with our school district's budget. What will next year's enrolment be.'

"Is that before or after tax?"

Leo Tolstoy

Superstitious Black Cat

Devil paints God.

Centaur Driver

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

"Is there anybody there?"

"She's not the perfect wife, but at least she's not always buying shoes."

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

Books: Success stories & Sob stories.

'I see a VERY important note from your doctor. Unfortunately, I can't read her handwriting.'