Monstrous Musings T-Shirts

"I don't know-somehow the city seems much scarier than when I was a kid."

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"These brisk fall afternoons remind me of Chekhov, which reminds me of Putin, then Trump, the alt-right, facism, nuclear weapons ... let's go home."

'I hate my life.

"You wanna put that back?"

'You'll like this book. It's all about imaginary people.'

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

Mental baggage, a brain with a handle for easy carrying.

Greek goddess

Big Medium

'Do you ever wish the Big Bang would have been just a little bigger?'

"Were you even listening to me? I don't have a mother to blame anything on!"

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

'I'd like to enlighten you, but what if you're just illusory?'

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

Walkies with the Stars

'Never, NEVER sneeze while you're levitating.'

"Eve, do you realize that neither you nor I ever had a childhood?"

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'The recurring poor enrollment prognostications plays havoc with our school district's budget. What will next year's enrolment be.'

Leo Tolstoy

"Is that before or after tax?"

Superstitious Black Cat

'I see a VERY important note from your doctor. Unfortunately, I can't read her handwriting.'

Devil paints God.

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

Centaur Driver

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

Books: Success stories & Sob stories.

'Must be Pandora's.'