Mystic Musings T-Shirts

"Is that before or after tax?"

Big Medium

'I see that you're the sort of guy who will pay through the nose for bad advice.'

"If she's so good how come she didn't predict this?"

'How could I have foretold that my client would rob me?'

"You wanna put that back?"

"If you never date a prediction it can't be proved wrong."

Madam Zenas Psychic Hotline.

'I'd like to enlighten you, but what if you're just illusory?'

'I see love... health... but as for money, it's up to you, pal!'

'It's the psychic network returning the call you plan to make tomorrow.'

Palmist Alarmist - Uh ooooh!

'Mystic Ken sees your future in the stars.'

"If all the universe is contained in a grain of sand, why can't we go attain nirvana at the beach?"

'I see money. . . I see more money. . . I see a woman.'

Three Balls, No Waiting

'Yes, here's my card.'

'I see your future investing in a fortune telling business!'

Your future predicted. Zultan. $2. Very soon, you will wish you had those two bucks back.

Quantum Psychic

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

A voodoo doctor.

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

Nikolay Rerih

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'You'll like this book. It's all about imaginary people.'

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

Mental baggage, a brain with a handle for easy carrying.

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'