Monkeying Around In The Stock Market Gifts

Gorilla investment tactics.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

A child runs an equity stand.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Dow Jones drop

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

"Oooh! I think I just felt our stock split."