Monkey Business Fan Gifts

'You were there. Why wouldn't the jury think you were involved? Isn't it true, monkey see monkey do?'

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

Yep, lookee there. You made yet another vine.

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'Hey babe, do you have plans later?'

Can you explain the large quantities of bananas and nuts that have been ordered by your department?

"Done rather well for ourselves, Eh, Dr Simion!?"

"Looks like we found the issue."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

Non-Power Breakfast

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"It's a swearbox."

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

Scapegoat of the Year

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

'And these are the projections if we stop doing silly things like paying the employees.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

'You'll never succeed until the kissing up becomes instinctual.'

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

"Influence this."

Death Boss

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"