Monk Impersonator Pillows

"Oh great, the printer is down."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Spell checker!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Quills - Sizes 1-9

"Elfis"

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Monk Prompt

Well la de da. . .

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"I'm going on a retreat."

Buddhist photo albums,

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'