Monitor Calibration Gifts

A color test planet

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

Phone Mittens

'Excuuuse me! Please don't touch my Father!'

'Is there something you're not telling me, Doctor?'

The boss is always right.

"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

UN observer - 'The election was free and fair, but terribly unsophisticated - No spin, no vote recounts, no dirty tricks!'

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

'These new electronic tags are fantastic, they really make it possible for managers to keep track.'

"Don't read it! He's phishing."

'...possible drug side effects include 'rapid death syndrome', but that's rare.'

Castaway uses a PC instead of a bottle.

I'm just sittin ghere updating my resume and recalibrating my expectations.

"Don't take time to smell the flowers anymore. The tests show you're allergic to them."

High Tech Mom

'A health report today warned skeptics, who take everything with a grain of salt, could result in abnormal hypertension. . .'

'Never Anything on TV...'

'He's just gone into a hot adults only website.'

Thanksgiving Turkey Escapes

'Now Gordon's New Year's Resolutions have gone missing'

Justice

"There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got."

Debbie attaches her husband to a proprietary dream monitor to make sure he doesn't cheat on her in his sleep.

"You shouldn't be in the hall, Sam. You aren't free range 'til three fifteen."

'Your prescription was denied but you do qualify for a senior discount on all our Get Well cards.'

"Side effects may include litigation."

"The machine is making a funny noise and the green line went flat!"

"Screen time... screen time..."

'I'm surprised you weren't spanked as a child. Perhaps you should have been.'

Coronavirus Shadow