Medication Monitor Gifts

'...possible drug side effects include 'rapid death syndrome', but that's rare.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Side effects may include litigation."

'Your prescription was denied but you do qualify for a senior discount on all our Get Well cards.'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

Side Effects

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

Woman and scales.

'Is there something you're not telling me, Doctor?'

Please examine your children's tv before they watch it as mistakes can not afterwards be rectified

"Well, my fitness band told my doctor how lazy I've been since my last visit. How do I turn on privacy on this thing?!!!"

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

"Don't panic. I'm looking up the side effects."

"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'

"The printer ran out of ink so that's only a partial list of the side effects."

For temporary relief of symptoms due to cold or flu. May cause drowsiness. Use caution when operating machinery.

'It has my horoscope, heart rate and cholesterol level...but I'm sorry, I don't have the time.'

'It says take all your medication,if you can afford it.'

"It's definitely Friday. I'm looking at my calendar."

'These new electronic tags are fantastic, they really make it possible for managers to keep track.'

'Better check out what Dr. Figowitz is working on these days.'

"The tiny one treats the symptoms. The big one treats the side effects."

"But if we add to Santa's cholesterol we could be ruining him for future generations."

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

"When I said I needed to look at your diet I meant a list!"

"I can't relax. It feels like I'm being watched."