Money-wise Baby Pillows

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

'That's my boy...'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

'Is my allowance an unfunded liability?'

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"How do you make any money?"

"I checked out how much it would be for hockey, and guess what? The kids are playing pickleball this year!"

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

Back to school expenses.

"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"

'Dad, I need to talk to you about my investment portfolio.'

'I can tell when we're in a recession - my allowance gets cut.'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'I like green tea. It's the color of money.'

Baby buying shares

'...Now just key in your safety pin number...'

"Mom, if this is putting a strain on our finances, I could take a year off."

Lemonade and Free Credit Report Stand

'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'

"I got a gold star for having the highest credit score in my class."

'Instead of a birthday card, Dad - Why don't you give me a credit card?'

"I don't want to do something fun for free, I want to do something fun we pay for."

'He's learning how to maintain a bank account.'

'Do you really want a £30,000 mortgage, or is this just another homework problem?'