Monday Maverick Gifts

Back to Work

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'First of all, relax.'

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

Employee attending a breakfast meeting in his pyjamas.

Ski kicker.

Monday morning is nigh.

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

Boy who has been to the dentist

'Goopta took early retirement.'

They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.

"Another Monday and Albert couldn't get his ass out of bed."

"The take over has been completed... they are now working on the sell out."

Parkour Breakfast

'That's all right, dear -- I'll just pick something up on the way to work.'

'Sorry I'm late. I had you booked as the gastroenteritis, on Mont Blanc.'

'This is no time to decide that you'd rather be doing something else!'

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

Expectations vs. Bitterness

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

8 AM in the sleeper elevator car

Ye Haul.

"Let's just say this hasn't been a Monday morning of magical thinking."

Mondays...

'I don't hate Mondays -- I FEAR Mondays!'

Putin and Xi Jinping on the moon

Pentagon Science Contest: 'I get that a lot...must be from being in the presence of raw genius.'

"Paul, this is Bill Dudley, our new Head of Operations. Believe it or not, Bill has some pretty unusual ideas on how to improve our gross margin."

'It's a hell of a climb but it's worth it!'

Which Cup? 'Me' or 'Real Me'?

"Apparently night shifts undermine our health..."