Morning Meeting Maverick Gifts

Employee attending a breakfast meeting in his pyjamas.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

Targets.

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

So Far So Good

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

'I say we try it.'

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

Mums coffee morning

Management Speak - reading between the lines: "This new role would involve some extra responsibilities." "He wants me too work twice as hard."

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"We have a REALLY high turnover rate here."

"Oops! Wrong plug."

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

"Your Easter bonuses are hidden throughout corporate headquarters."

'First, I'd like to welcome the presidents of the two internet networking companies that just merged with us.'

'But you distinctly said working breakfast.'

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'

"The take over has been completed... they are now working on the sell out."

"Let's all go out & get drunk."

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."