Meeting Room Maverick Gifts

Yes, Mr Jones, this is the right meeting room for the SWOT analysis.

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Grandma's caf

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

Targets.

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

In, Out, Shake it all about

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

Employee attending a breakfast meeting in his pyjamas.

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

'I say we try it.'

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

Management Speak - reading between the lines: "This new role would involve some extra responsibilities." "He wants me too work twice as hard."

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"We have a REALLY high turnover rate here."

"Oops! Wrong plug."

"Your Easter bonuses are hidden throughout corporate headquarters."

'Does anyone have a question?'

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

"It also doubles as a karaoke machine."

'First, I'd like to welcome the presidents of the two internet networking companies that just merged with us.'

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'