Presentation Maverick Gifts

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

Grandma's caf

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Targets.

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

In, Out, Shake it all about

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

David wasn't sure about the idea of having denim curtains.

Hairstyles

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'I say we try it.'

Management Speak - reading between the lines: "This new role would involve some extra responsibilities." "He wants me too work twice as hard."

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"We have a REALLY high turnover rate here."

"Oops! Wrong plug."

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

"Your Easter bonuses are hidden throughout corporate headquarters."

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'