Media Maverick Gifts

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

Donald Trump rips up fake news.

'These speeches are a lot of trouble -- from now on, I'll just leak everything to the press.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

"I've decided that I'm going to avoid media coverage about Coronavirus like the plague. . ."

"We're not just an ad agency, we're instigators of social change, vanguards of a cultural revolution, disruptors of the status quo, a challenger of norms and conventions. . ."

News Samurai

"Hi! I'm from 'Scout Weekly'"

'It's the media . . . do you want to hide?'

"He's taking the circulation war a bit too seriously."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

Welcome to Newscorp, Mrs. Cohen. Stuff it, Murdoch! Neither I nor the Ask Sadie Radio Hour will ever be a shill for your deplorable @#$% corporate message! Adorable. Unless your message is one of anger and judgment.

So … You're a journalist. That's right. Can I interview you? Eh … no thanks. But … I could get your story out. Don't you want the world to know why you're rebelling against Dictator Clause? Of course. That's why I tweet. I've got millions of followers who hear my side whenever I want them to. @#?* 21st century. RebelElf. Rebuffed loser journo. He got all mad. Time 4 cookie-break. #LameStreamMedia

You should cut the cord. I did it years ago. What do you mean? I canceled cable. I get the same stuff I used to see for much less, by streaming Netflix, Hulu and Amazon through a Roku box

"Health care's the big thing now. How about we remake 'Dr. Kildcare,' only this time he's a woman?"

"On the other hand, we could join forces and attack the media."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

Orchestra.

Cellphone Islands

'Play it again, Sam.'

Guitar Man.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

Elevator Pitch

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Targets.

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'