Music Maverick Gifts

A trip to the vet's.

"No, Billy, I don't play the horn anymore. I just like to take it out every once and again so's to give an old friend a great big tallywhack on the head!"

Music critics of the wild west "I don't like the sound of those drums"

'Well excuse me Mr. watch me pound on a hollow log!! I just thought our sound could use a change!!'

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

Popera!

Band aid

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."

'To be honest, rock n'roll isn't my thing at all, I'm much more a country n'western kinda guy.'

'No you idiot! You're supposed to smash your guitar AFTER the show! What are you going to play now?'

Rock Star Speech Therapy

Hacksaw Violin.

Guitar Man.

"I heard Ralphie blows out his car speakers every three weeks."

'As far as I can tell, hard atheism is the same as atheism, only with a driving beat.'

"This isn't going to work - I'm rock n'roll and you're waltz time!"

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

You know that symphony I wrote in GarageBand? It drops next week. You're invited. Symphonies don't "drop," little buddy. Rock albums "drop." R&B "drops." Symphonies "debut." And they usually debut in concert halls, with live musicians. Where's your symphony debuting? Anybody-can-upload-anything-for-people-to-download.com. I wonder if I can get my tux pressed in time.

'Um. . . No, I don't think anyone has handed in an air guitar.'

Santa Metal Claus

David Bowie Superfan

"Noise? Noise?!! That was Bullet for my Valentine!"

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

Orchestra.

'Play it again, Sam.'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Grandma's caf

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."