Media Mavericks Gifts

Businesses begin to explore new media in which to place their messages

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

"Accepting for..."

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"She leaked WHAT to the press?"

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

'I realize that you're upset that Oprah hasn't reviewed your new book on her show. But you are on MY show, so why don't you tell us what inspired you to write 'Overcoming Disappointment and Resentment.''

Scratch 'n' sniff edition...

Godot finally turns up

'Clients can get a little tricky at these product analysis sessions.'

"I hope these reviews don't make you nervous."

You'll never get anywhere as a sculptor, Ernie, until you learn to let the chips fall where they may.

Beethoven's 10th

Doctor with 'Out patient' clip board being sped up by 'Competition', 'Technology' and 'DRG's'

"He's taking the circulation war a bit too seriously."

'I got the habit while fitting in with the old boys club.'

"If you are amenable to that offer, I am prepared to respond with this facial expression."

'We wouldn't dream of blaming you...'

I was going to make you a rich woman, but you're done. Fine with me. I don't care what percentage I'll get. I won't let you play with my reputation. I won't let you trade in fake scandal. Perfect. What? We got your anger on videotape. Your redemption is complete. You're back on the air. Even my head is spinning.

'He's not a doctor or an athletic trainer. He's not even a coach!'

'He googles you. That's how God knows everything about you.'

Man hiding behind chair from aggressive tourism advertising

News of the World

"They're dividing into three groups, Sire. Infantry, cavalry, and media."

'My advice? Invest in 'rRising Star' in the first race at Belmont. But what do I know? I'm just the boss' bookie.'