Business Mavericks Gifts

"If you are amenable to that offer, I am prepared to respond with this facial expression."

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

'You just don't seem to be fitting in.'

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

Employee attending a breakfast meeting in his pyjamas.

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

'I told you, if the LA branch steals our thunder, there is no more dialogue.'

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

'There always seems to be ONE trouble-maker in the company who gets a sick thrill from rebelling against our corporate culture!'

'This is where we shed all our inhibitions.'

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

'We're not interested in loyalty,but we do value obedience.'

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"Wow! Boss! I thought she was a silent partner."

"He's right, but he didn't have to rub our faces in it."

'Knock it off. That's just the kind of backward thinking I was talking about.'

"The take over has been completed... they are now working on the sell out."

Colin had finished the 'One Minute Manager' and was now practising the 3467 minute tea break.

'I need a change in my life. From now on it's all wheeling and no dealing'

' I used to lead by example but it was too much work.'

'When are you going to show some INITIATIVE, Findley?', 'When you TELL me to, sir!'

'Don't just sit there, hire someone who agrees with me.'

'The ethics consultant said our business conduct is immoral. I immediately took action and fired the guy.'

I understand you all have names already, but if I want to assign my employees names I like, Margeret, I'll damn well go ahead and do it!

'Managing a team in the current climate requires new skills...'

"You're wrong! I'm not the worst boss you've ever had. I'm the worst former boss you've ever had."