Morning Maverick Gifts

"He's not himself until that first cup of coffee."

Parkour Breakfast

'That's all right, dear -- I'll just pick something up on the way to work.'

Future garbage truck driver.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Grandma's caf

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

Targets.

'First of all, relax.'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

So Far So Good

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

Employee attending a breakfast meeting in his pyjamas.

'I say we try it.'

Mums coffee morning

Ski kicker.

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

Management Speak - reading between the lines: "This new role would involve some extra responsibilities." "He wants me too work twice as hard."

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"We have a REALLY high turnover rate here."

"Oops! Wrong plug."

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."