Monastic Merrymaker Gifts

Monks play conkers with crucifix

Hop-scotching monk.

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

May your Christmas be full of harmony

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

'I'd like to tell you all about it, dear, but what happens in Joe's Bar STAYS in Joe's Bar.'

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

Little Piano

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

Angelicus alcholicus.

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"All I've got left is smoked."

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

The dark secret about where the Easter Bunny gets the candy...

"I realize your prescription bottle says 'Keep Tightly Closed', but you still need to take the medication!"

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall, Below is a man with a boiling pot waiting for him to land in it, Man is licking is lips, he has napkin on and is holding a knife and fork,

Moses parts the Red Sea.

Jester

'Don't worry about the side effects. You already suffer from all the side effects caused by this medication.'

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

Hey, it's 5am somewhere, am I right?

Prosecco and Pudding

Drunk Golfer.

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

"It's OK, Trump will pardon me."

'The Easter Bunny and Hist Eight Tiny Reinhares.'

Bourbon Street signs: Party and Sober Up.