Momster Gifts

I told the school I definitely didn't want my son to be labelled - but if he had to be labelled, 'gifted and talented' would be nice!

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

He loves the water.

Mobsters at the Beach

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"Puffiness and dark circles under the eyes, sniffles, trouble sleeping, rashes...you don't have allergies...you have children."

'Every time you lose an argument, you put a horse's head on my side of the bed!'

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Gangsta wrap.

"Right kids, there's no camp and no vacation, but Mommy and I are super excited to make this summer our best ever!"

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

'Lewis and Cabrini.'

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

"Don't worry, boss, he ain't gonna be takin' his shoes off on an airplane no more."

The Clown Hit

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

'Shall I be Motherhood?'

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

"Did you remember to whack the cat?"

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'You act surprised.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

"Mom's left her phone here. We'll have to walk to the kitchen to tell her to get us dinner."