Mobster Gifts

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'Well, this is a pleasant surprise...I say I can't pay you back and you want to take me swimming!?'

'You do a good job here and maybe the Don will promote you.'

"From now on, we're not a family. We're a coalition."

'Dis new software makes our jobs simple! Right here is who ya gotta whack. Here is where ya gotta whack 'em. DIS is WHEN you gotta whack 'em...'

'If you can't distinguish right from wrong, you have no business being the head of a crime family.'

Sleeping with the Gefilta fish

"Tonight? I thought it was tomorrow night."

"Try thinking of this as a totally immersive performance art installation."

"You understand this was just business."

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

'I'm thinkin' this sleeping with the fishes option ain't best practices.'

"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"

"Little Joey invented the one-click rubout."

"A word of fatherly advice, Marty: keep your friends close and your enemies even closer. That way there's no room for useless in-laws to squeeze in."

"Where should we dump it, boss?"

'These are pinching a bit around the toes. Can I try another pair?'

"Of course I got rid of the body. Don't you follow me on Twitter?"

"Can it, Louie! You knew damn well it was pajama day!"

'Every time you lose an argument, you put a horse's head on my side of the bed!'

"Look, they'll never buy that I lost my sheep, so I want you to make it look like an accident."

'So, uh, how much is it to store a self?'

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

"You should know by now, nobody puts the bite on me and gets away with it!"

"Lou can't make the meeting. He's dead."

"I haven't actually whacked anyone in a while, but at this point I can get by purely on endorsements."

"I won't, of course, Hollingsworth, but I could have you killed."

Eddie (The Sandman) Fasolino

"Use a hockey stick – make it look like a game."

"Touch that dial, Meatball, and I'll have Paulie pop ya before we hit the tunnel."

"Shall I sing like the wild Atlantic canary or the domesticated yellow canary?"

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"I'm overcompensated, but I'm not overcompensated enough."

"But that's enough about me. Tell me, what do you do?"