Moms Gifts

"Does this make us bad parents?"

"Keeping all out kids does NOT make us hoarders."

'Gimme like whattayacallit...'

"Whenever I want my mom to play fort, I just turn on news about climate change."

'We must be great parents...our children all hate us.'

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

'Okay, Mum said no, but if we can get to Dad before she has time to brief him, we could still turn this into a yes.'

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

"I thought they would be pleased that we stayed up to wish them a Happy Spring Forward Day."

"Before you say anything, please watch this video that explains why teenagers need extra sleep."

'The directions said to use two capfuls.'

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

"My child has special wants."

"I wasn't nervously hovered around enough as a child."

Tantrum Scene Do Not Cross

"Have we considered home schooling, if only for the less parental involvement?"

Quiz: Why is your two-year old so quiet

'Mom, what do I do for a living?'

'We did some exciting things with tempera today.'

"Sorry. He's been cursing like that ever since we put him in that little sailor suit."

Conservation of Energy

"Which of these summer camps would you like to be shipped off to?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'And there's our little Steven, pecking out of his shell.'

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

'Let's get ready for daycare!!'

"I'm bored."

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

Honey, do you think you could try being a little less over-protective?

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

Baby throwing cans of food around in supermarket,

"It's such a beautiful day, mum. . . why don't you go and play outside."

A mom watches as her children get into a large SUV using a staircase.