Mompreneur Gifts

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

"This is a family business. She won't order you to do something. She'll nag you."

Breastfeeding

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Where your mind & battle are los

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Profit

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'