Mollusc Marveler T-Shirts

Why garden slugs don't migrate south for the winter.

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

Juggler and Illusionist

"I don't want to take this meeting off track, but... isn't Stonehenge amazing? Seriously, who did that?"

'Catch this!'

The Department of Emerging Technologies.

'Look - it's SUPERBUG!'

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

"Kind of makes your feel large and significant, doesn't it?"

The Quantum Mechanic...

A bird pulls the thread from a magic carpet.

"Is it just me, or is it humid up here?"

"They don't look familiar...probably from another fecal transplant."

Walking on Water

"I'd be fast, too, if I had legs that long."

Tugboat pulls along a rubber duck.

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

Schrödinger's cat.

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Gardener and the Giant Snail

Snail with lots of shells says: 'I've extended as far as possible, so there was nowhere to go but down.'

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

Notice - Salt Kills

Sea of Galilee - Please Do Not Walk On The Water.

'Moses, I'm going to have to fine you for failing to get an Environmental Impact Statement before parting the Red Sea.'

"He's not in. Can you crawl back after lunch?"

But if you make his pearls for him, he'll never learn to make them himself.

'Who the heck has parted the Red Sea?!'

"Rabbit's on maternity leave. I'm the understudy. And take it easy on the ears."

'Crowd control has never been easier since this Moses guy joined up.'

"Bloody caravans..."

Journey to the center of Jules Microbiome