Moisture Magicians Gifts

'I'm telling you, with the right moisturizer and lip balm you could avoid all of that chaffing.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Stupid Microwave

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Lazy plumber.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

The quarantine self cut.

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

Pottery

Tortoise and the Hare

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

'What's the poule ding?' 'Roast chicken. The ding is the sound of the microwave.'

"Don't forget to wash your hands."

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

'How do you measure the success of your blog?'

'The cauldron is just for the sauce - I do the rest in my microwave.'

Potter

Miley Cyrus

'You can always recognise a true gardener - out there before the weather actually gets nice enough for venturing into the garden.'

Right, just off to the east field to muck spread!

"You're just pushing my buttons about all-microwave cooking ... aren't you?"

"We're headin' into town. 'Course I'm gonna moisturize."

Strimmer (weed whacker) starts to lift off.

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

'It's true. Since I've been using this organic stuff, my potions are far more effective.'

'Forget tradition! This thing can boil eye of newt in 15 seconds!'