Microwave Magician Gifts

Stupid Microwave

'Forget tradition! This thing can boil eye of newt in 15 seconds!'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"The atoms are burned on the outside but still ice-cold in the middle."

'It looks like a lot, but I microwave it throughout the week.'

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Tortoise and the Hare

When There is Simply No Time For Braising!

Joe's Bar and Microwave, 'The grill got busted.'

'The cauldron is just for the sauce - I do the rest in my microwave.'

'What's the poule ding?' 'Roast chicken. The ding is the sound of the microwave.'

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

Joe's bar and microwave, 'The grill got busted.'

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

"You're just pushing my buttons about all-microwave cooking ... aren't you?"

What's the best cooking tip you ever learned? 'Poke holes in plastic cover."

'How fast can you hype?'

If Disney was a software company

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'What luck! A sound technician.'

"I lost the groove."

Concert pianist with a clockwork piano.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

The quarantine self cut.

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

Mummy Musician

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

Go on! Pick a card.

"This one comes with a special undo function for erasing any stupid thing you've done or said in your entire life. It doesn't really work, of course, but it's SUPER fun to play with!"

'Music hath charms,' &c.

'My nephew Richie can download all your work from the internet for free. You are all fired.'

Free and Open Source Software.

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'