Modesty Pillows

'Somewhere where men won't be undressing me with their eyes!'

'Call me anti-social if you want. The pants stay on.'

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"Eve, how come every leaf has fallen except yours?"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

Drive-thru Church

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"Remember, it's Boy, Girl, LGBT, Boy, Girl, LG . . ."

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

Highlights from the Million Moderate March

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'Life on the farm used to be so... innocent. What's happened to us?'

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

Sorry, coach. My mom says the other football pants are "too revealing."

'Do you think the legal profession is modern and forward-thinking, Sir?'

'I prefer 'Baby Boomer' over 'Senior Citizen'.'

"I am wearing the new bikini you saw...unfortunately, my father saw it too, and made me wear this over it!"

"Oh, come on. Live a little. It's liberating."

There is no clear line in the salon world.

It's lovely, but I would have been just as happy with a modest ranch.

"Finally a bit of privacy."

"More like 95% off!"

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

"A lot of people say that absence is my best feature."

Ladies using thier cage crinolines as bathing machines