Modesty Appreciator Pillows

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

True Modesty.

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"A lot of people say that absence is my best feature."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"They're so adorable at that age!"

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."

"Let's change that to 'Please be seated'."

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."

'C'mon! How long are we supposed to wait for it to blow?'

"Have you got it in beige?"

"Let's try that again with a 'please' and 'thank you.'"

"And if you press that one, someone will come in and tell you what a good job you're doing,"

Courtesy Wave

"The money's not all that flash here, but you do get recognition for good work."

'A Lifetime sentence for bein' cute.'

"I am wearing the new bikini you saw...unfortunately, my father saw it too, and made me wear this over it!"

"I know I encourage employees to take initiative, Tom... but I think you should change that back!"

"More like 95% off!"

"Have you come far?"

"Thanks for the unexpected lift. You can drop me off here. Or here. Or here. Or here."

"Finally a bit of privacy."

Deferential equations.

"Are you decent?"

"Please excuse Steve...he hates pretentiousness!"