Modesty Aficionado Pillows

'I've kept all my wildest hopes and dreams realistic and easy to achieve.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

Sorry, coach. My mom says the other football pants are "too revealing."

"Finally a bit of privacy."

Virginia Woolf.

"Oh, come on. Live a little. It's liberating."

"I am wearing the new bikini you saw...unfortunately, my father saw it too, and made me wear this over it!"

"More like 95% off!"

'Just because you happen to turn into a wolf during a full moon, dear, doesn't mean you have to act like one!'

"Please excuse Steve...he hates pretentiousness!"

"Eve, how come every leaf has fallen except yours?"

'Have you got anything a little less invasive?'

Funeral for the Earl of Sandwich

A man doffs his head in passing.

True Modesty.

Those guys are too green; I'm waiting for Mister Ripe.

"A lot of people say that absence is my best feature."

'Call me anti-social if you want. The pants stay on.'

"Are you decent?"

"You just self-deprecated yourself right out of a job."

Canadian Standoff

"Please forgive my manners, Miss, 'tis the Regency Period and we have not enjoyed rollicking sex since luncheon."

Taekwon DOHHEAD: 'Grrrrr!'

'My degree is in the Social Sciences, yet I'm a klutz and don't know one fork from another!'

Modern architect almost collapsing in shock of post modern building

"After I expounded on my greatness all morning, it's funny he never complimented me on my humility."

'Somewhere where men won't be undressing me with their eyes!'