Modesty Promoter Pillows

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

Politeness opens doors

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'Say, please.'

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

Highlights from the Million Moderate March

"So, how's that new medication working for your paranoia?"

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

A gentleman giving some children a lesson in manners

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

"So much for that publicity stunt."

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

Sorry, coach. My mom says the other football pants are "too revealing."

Trucker advertises his podcast.

'Don't forget to say 'pretty please'.'

"You're very courteous for a hog"

"I hear good things about you from your publicist."

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

Miss Manners: Inappropriate and Appropriate.

The coolest thing you can do is be yourself

"More like 95% off!"

'Looks like the milk depot are doing a promotion on fireworks again.'