Modesty Promoter Pillows

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'Say, please.'

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Politeness opens doors

A gentleman giving some children a lesson in manners

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

"So, how's that new medication working for your paranoia?"

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

"So much for that publicity stunt."

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

'Don't forget to say 'pretty please'.'

"You're very courteous for a hog"

"I hear good things about you from your publicist."

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

The coolest thing you can do is be yourself

Miss Manners: Inappropriate and Appropriate.

'For you information, hymns are meant to be sung, not whistled.'

"More like 95% off!"

'Looks like the milk depot are doing a promotion on fireworks again.'