Modesty Appreciator Gifts

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

True Modesty.

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"A lot of people say that absence is my best feature."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"They're so adorable at that age!"

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

Highlights from the Million Moderate March

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"Let's change that to 'Please be seated'."

Pardon me, I think you dropped this. Ivy League Football Is Different.

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."

'C'mon! How long are we supposed to wait for it to blow?'

"Have you got it in beige?"

Sorry, coach. My mom says the other football pants are "too revealing."

"Let's try that again with a 'please' and 'thank you.'"

Courtesy Wave

"And if you press that one, someone will come in and tell you what a good job you're doing,"

"The money's not all that flash here, but you do get recognition for good work."

"I know I encourage employees to take initiative, Tom... but I think you should change that back!"

'A Lifetime sentence for bein' cute.'

"Have you come far?"

"I am wearing the new bikini you saw...unfortunately, my father saw it too, and made me wear this over it!"

"Thanks for the unexpected lift. You can drop me off here. Or here. Or here. Or here."