Modesty Rebel Gifts

"Oh, come on. Live a little. It's liberating."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

'That's not exactly what I had in mind when I said to clean your room.'

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

Highlights from the Million Moderate March

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

'I said you can't touch me - it's my religion.'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

"Knees peeking out of jeans are sexy, but what would you know?"

'Give me the most soft and gentle looking unicorn tattoo you've got!'

Sorry, coach. My mom says the other football pants are "too revealing."

"I am wearing the new bikini you saw...unfortunately, my father saw it too, and made me wear this over it!"

"Finally a bit of privacy."

'I hacked into the school computer, and flunked all the teachers out.'

"More like 95% off!"

Baby Boomers...Finance Your Mid Life Crisis Here!

To Hell with Protocol, Walk In

Very little fan fair.

Ladies using thier cage crinolines as bathing machines

"He's great at keeping our litter box clean. I just wish he would do the same with his computer."

'Call me anti-social if you want. The pants stay on.'

"Please excuse Steve...he hates pretentiousness!"

"A lot of people say that absence is my best feature."

'Have you got anything a little less invasive?'

"Eve, how come every leaf has fallen except yours?"

True Modesty.

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

"Are you decent?"