Modesty Muse Gifts

"Are you decent?"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

Nun Binning the Devil

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'

'Have a couple of dreams, and call me in the morning.'

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"He never makes it past Stephen’s walk across Sandymount strand."

'There's a strong minimalist influence in this artist's work.' 'Good! The less there is of it, the better.'

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

Rodin's The Thinker is surrounded by people and is thinking about wearing a mask.

Always let you conscience be your guide. I let my conscience be my guide, but it's non-binding.

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

Brancusi.

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"He hasn't the heart to discharge her. She's been with him for years."

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

"Let me quote a few home truths to you."

Sorry, coach. My mom says the other football pants are "too revealing."

"Quit whimpering."

"Oh, come on. Live a little. It's liberating."

"More like 95% off!"

Pastor Has Hunting Trophy of Satan

Muzak and its variations.

Rietveld at Sing Sing,

'It wasn't the proverbial cookie jar, Sir. It was just the real cookie jar.'

"Finally a bit of privacy."

"I was grinding out barnyards and farmhouses and cows in the meadows, and then, suddenly, I figured to hell with it."