Modesty Muse Gifts

"Are you decent?"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

Nun Binning the Devil

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'

'Have a couple of dreams, and call me in the morning.'

'There's a strong minimalist influence in this artist's work.' 'Good! The less there is of it, the better.'

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

"He never makes it past Stephen’s walk across Sandymount strand."

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

Rodin's The Thinker is surrounded by people and is thinking about wearing a mask.

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"He hasn't the heart to discharge her. She's been with him for years."

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

"Quit whimpering."

"Let me quote a few home truths to you."

There is no clear line in the salon world.

'It wasn't the proverbial cookie jar, Sir. It was just the real cookie jar.'

Muzak and its variations.

Rietveld at Sing Sing,

"More like 95% off!"

"Finally a bit of privacy."

"I am wearing the new bikini you saw...unfortunately, my father saw it too, and made me wear this over it!"

Pastor Has Hunting Trophy of Satan

"I was grinding out barnyards and farmhouses and cows in the meadows, and then, suddenly, I figured to hell with it."