Modern Xmas Lovers Pillows

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Pole dancers

'I ran as fast as I could, but I still couldn't catch the Gingerbread Man...'

Advent Calender.

Santa and reindeer in line with shadows

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"I heard that Santa's cutting out the 30% employee discount on toys."

Shelf on an elf

"Wasn't it follow one star to Bethlehem?"

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

There's no place like home for the holidays...

'Santa has been and he's taken our telly...'

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

'Don't forget your thermos.'

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

"Your behavior was kind of shady so don't be surprised if you only receive clothes for Christmas."

"I hate recalls."

"Ugh...I hate tailgators."

Aliens collide with Santa.

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

"My dad wants me to have all the things he never had, and he never had a pony."

364 days a year jobless. Please help!

"I'm the ghost of no-Christmas-for-you!"

Santa '50s' Claus.

Santa Romance

'What I want for Christmas is a bigger carrot'

Ten Seconds with Santa Claus: 'I think this will be my last year delivering presents...'

Five Gold Rings