Modern Xmas Lovers Gifts

"What do I want? You're telling me you haven't seen my public wish list on Amazon?"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Pole dancers

Advent Calender.

'I ran as fast as I could, but I still couldn't catch the Gingerbread Man...'

Santa and reindeer in line with shadows

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

There's no place like home for the holidays...

Shelf on an elf

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

"I heard that Santa's cutting out the 30% employee discount on toys."

"Wasn't it follow one star to Bethlehem?"

'Santa has been and he's taken our telly...'

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

'Don't forget your thermos.'

"Rudolph, call the recruitment department - I asked for 'Elvish helpers!'"

"Ugh...I hate tailgators."

"I hate recalls."

Santa left a six pack and cookies.

Aliens collide with Santa.

"Your behavior was kind of shady so don't be surprised if you only receive clothes for Christmas."

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

"My dad wants me to have all the things he never had, and he never had a pony."

"I'm the ghost of no-Christmas-for-you!"

Santa '50s' Claus.

364 days a year jobless. Please help!

Ten Seconds with Santa Claus: 'I think this will be my last year delivering presents...'

Santa Romance

'What I want for Christmas is a bigger carrot'