Modern Workplace Gifts

"At least you were replaced by a worker in India. I was replaced by a robot!"

"I hire millennials because the boomers can't figure out our technology."

"I prefer the term 'barista.'"

"He arranged the time and the place of the meeting so he wouldn't be able to make it."

"It's the new mobile office."

"I love Millennials. Instead of a company car, we just give them a skateboard."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

National Boss Monument.

"I feel your pain."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Work Slave

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.