Modern Work Environment Gifts

"When I came back from lunch my flexible, modular workspace was gone."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"I feel your pain."

'Yes, can I help you?'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

National Boss Monument.

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

HR - Helping Relationships

Work Slave

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'