Modern Theology Fan Pillows

Pope Francis

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

Priest

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Let there be cool.'

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Pre-nuptual Nativity

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

Promised Land Signpost

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"...And when the Lord finished, she rested."

The Venerable Bede

Two of everything on Noah's ark.

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'