Modern Social Dynamics Fans Gifts

"Ya dang fool. I told ya not to ride through passive-aggressive territory."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"The unlucky lemming"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

A child as a pet substitute.

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

"Call me!"

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"We need to have a serious talk."

"I'm not so sure I can handle this."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

Well, obviously we can't live with my parents

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

Bears: 'Mummy, mummy can I sleep over at Jessica's this winter.'

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

Larry David

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't tell your Dad about the Easter Bunny till next year."

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

Poplar Trees/Not very Poplar Trees.

"Daddy can't help you, son. Daddy's a product of the 'me' generation."

'We're identical twins, but I'm luckier than he is!'

"In the old days people with small dicks needed big cars. Today they write hate comments against Greta Thunberg."

'Now that everybody can talk, I keep worrying about what people will say.'

'Must you find fault every time she brings a boyfriend home?'

Mom's Mortuary