Social Dynamics Aficionado Gifts

"I saved him! All me—who's awesome? Total winner, right here, whoop-whoop! That's it. Just take it all in."

"He looks like a dweeb."

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Men explained.

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

"Call me!"

"I'm not so sure I can handle this."

Complaints departement for men and women.

"God help us, it's that guy."

"I want to know why when I'm in a room people ignore me."

Larry David

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

Russian and Chinese Influences in Afghanistan

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

Poplar Trees/Not very Poplar Trees.

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

"In the old days people with small dicks needed big cars. Today they write hate comments against Greta Thunberg."

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

'Now that everybody can talk, I keep worrying about what people will say.'

"I not only respect women, I look up to them."

Abstraction and recognition

"Let's not discuss it."

"Do you think everyone hangs out with me because I'm cool and funny, or because I'm God."

'So what if people are watching you. Aren't you also looking at them?'

"Who invented Cinnamon-Raisin again?"

'You're at that awkward age where the others have figured out that you're a drone and you don't do anything.'

"Oh, God, it's the Herefords, pretend we don't see them."

'You know, sometimes I think we don't even speak the same body language.'

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

Shy Man at Party

"I know it's only a social construct but shall we see if we can get it big and hard?"

"Don't preted to hibernate when I'm talking to you."

'I've noticed that it's only since I started laying golden eggs that everybody wants to be my friend...'