Modern Ritual Observer Pillows

Holy Water.

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

Mice 25¢

Trump attempting to pull down the thinker

Maternity Hospital

Gone to seed.

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

"Better safe than sorry, son."

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

"They don't play Mummies and Daddies these days-now its Wife Swappies!"

"A non-virgin wold have had a devastating effect on crop yield."

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"Of course I'm no expert. But I still think it's: 'Sniff butt, bury bone. Sniff butt, bury bone...'"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Ganges

After hours TV.

Office Hazing

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

'We no longer handle the contracting out part. We contract that out.'

Seder Plate Symbols Explained

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

'I have a rigid routine...sharpen pencils, organise desk, have writers block and start my nervous breakdown after lunch.'

'I'm sure that once the 'new hire' stigma fades, they'll warm up a bit,,,'

Baptism in the Dead Sea

'You'll have to excuse me. I'm not used to talking to people, in real-time, without using a mobile device.'

Last Stage of Human Evolution wonders "Where's my TV?"

Desert island 'Help' cards

"No, anointing oil does not come in different grades depending on the application."

'Richard, control yourself! You're swirling counter-clockwise in public!'

The pig issue.