Modern Parenthood Pontificator Pillows

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"He just said his first word!"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

How Moms explain.

Phone Mittens

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

Three Parent Baby

'You know, it's amazing what having a child costs you when you add it all up.'

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

"Congratulations, you're expecting triplets."

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'