Modern Parent Meme Fan Pillows

"My parents decriminalized sugar."

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"He just said his first word!"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"Use your inside scream."

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

Laptops

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Maternity tattoos

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

'Mom, I need a push.'

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

Phone Mittens

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."