Parenting Meme Fan Pillows

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"I need to know who started it."

'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

"Time for bed, guys."

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

Chilly baby.

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'

'Please tell me I'm adopted.'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"Sure, Mom, I'll eat first, but then can we discuss my 'overseas adoption'?"

'What are you in for?'

"I'm worried that Ud isn't evolving as quickly as the other kids."

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

"Michael, do your dinner."

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

'Go on Darling, play in the soil-pit for a while...'

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

'I have to disagree. I think the artist is laughing with us.'

'Ooopsss! I did it again.'

"What happens if you get the headphones in the wrong ear?"

'My mom invented baths!'

"He started teething this morning."

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"