Parenting Meme Fan Pillows

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

The Poky Little Pupa.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"I need to know who started it."

'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

"Time for bed, guys."

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"

Sperm Whale.

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

Chilly baby.

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

'Please tell me I'm adopted.'

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"Sure, Mom, I'll eat first, but then can we discuss my 'overseas adoption'?"

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

'What are you in for?'

"I'm worried that Ud isn't evolving as quickly as the other kids."

'Go on Darling, play in the soil-pit for a while...'

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

"Michael, do your dinner."

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

'I have to disagree. I think the artist is laughing with us.'

'Ooopsss! I did it again.'

"What happens if you get the headphones in the wrong ear?"

"He started teething this morning."

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"